


Schofield & Jones

by jedi_penguin



Category: Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-04
Updated: 2010-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-05 19:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_penguin/pseuds/jedi_penguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Seventh Doctor and his Companions had dealt with the alien menace from "Smith and Jones"?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schofield & Jones

"You're not sticking me with that!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Ace urged. "It's just a little prick."

"Yeah, but of what? The Doctor here has been a bit vague about the exact contents of that needle..."

"You're imagining things," the Doctor said impatiently. "As I told you twice before: it's just a slight illness, mildly alarming in 2007 but completely treatable in the near future. The staff will admit you, we'll come visit, get conveniently 'lost,' and then discover which alien presence has ensconced itself in the hospital. After we've saved the planet, we'll take you back to the TARDIS and fix you up in no time flat. It's all very simple!"

Hex wasn't mollified. "You STILL haven't said what's in that syringe. Isn't there some other way to get me admitted?"

"I could always break your arm if you'd prefer."

"Ace," the Doctor growled in annoyance. "You're not helping. Listen, Hex. There's something very, very wrong with that hospital and we need a way to investigate it. You don't have as much experience as Ace and your instincts for what's wrong might not be as sharp as hers. Earth's continued existence may depend upon us gaining access to that hospital and you're our best means for achieving that."

Hex knew he was beaten, but felt the need for one last token argument. "Why can't you be the sick one while I help Ace?"

"And submit myself to the tender mercies of twenty-first century medicine?" the Doctor demanded incredulously. "An alien with two hearts? I'd have to be mad to go anywhere near a human doctor!"

"Fair enough," Hex allowed. "I guess it does have to me. Just... do it."

Ace injected him with a tenderness that was at odds with the annoyance on her face and he immediately felt unwell. The Doctor and Ace each took one arm and half dragged him to the Casualty Ward. After an interminable wait, a beautiful young woman in a white coat approached them.

"Hello. My name is Martha Jones and I'm an advanced medical student. I'll be taking your case history today for your attending physician. What brings you in today?"

"Ah, hello there," the Doctor said brightly. "My young friend here seems to have a slight case of Ebola. Can you help him?"


End file.
